The Whole-Brain Child
Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson
12 strategies grounded in brain science for helping young children handle big feelings and difficult moments.
View on Amazon →Self-Harm and Suicide Risk in Young Children
Young children can experience suicidal thoughts and self-harm behaviors. Knowing how to recognize warning signs and respond appropriately may be one of the most important skills you have.
Can Young Children Experience Suicidal Ideation?
Yes. While suicide is statistically rare in children under 10, suicidal ideation — thoughts of wanting to die, wishing one were dead, or expressing that others would be better off without them — can occur in elementary-aged children. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention documents that suicide rates among children aged 5-12, while low in absolute terms, have been increasing. Certain risk factors elevate risk substantially: prior trauma, household violence, parental mental health issues, bullying victimization, and social isolation.
Self-harm (non-suicidal self-injury, or NSSI) — deliberate injury to one's own body as a way of managing emotional pain — is primarily documented in adolescents but can occur in younger children, particularly those with trauma histories. Scratching skin, biting oneself, hitting one's head, or picking wounds to prevent healing can be indicators.
This page is a guide for recognition and referral — not for diagnosis or treatment. All concerning statements or behaviors should be referred immediately to your school counselor and the child's family.
Warning Signs to Take Seriously
Take These Statements and Behaviors Seriously
- Statements like "I wish I were dead," "I want to hurt myself," "Nobody would care if I was gone," or "I want to disappear"
- Unexplained cuts, scratches, or bruises, especially in patterns or locations inconsistent with play injuries
- Picking at wounds deliberately to prevent healing
- Dramatic withdrawal from friends, activities previously enjoyed, or adults
- Giving away prized possessions
- Expressing hopelessness: "Nothing will ever get better," "There's no point"
- Talking or writing about death, dying, or "going away"
- Sudden calmness or apparent improvement after a period of extreme distress (this can indicate a decision has been made)
One statement of this kind is enough to take action. Do not wait to see if it is repeated.
How to Respond When a Child Expresses These Thoughts
Stay Calm and Take It Seriously
Your calm, non-panicked response communicates that you are safe to talk to. Don't dismiss the statement ("You don't really mean that"). Don't overreact in a way that frightens the child into silence. Simply say: "Thank you for telling me that. I want to make sure you're okay. Can we talk?"
Ask Direct Questions (It's Safe to Ask)
Research consistently shows that asking directly about suicidal thoughts does NOT increase risk — it actually reduces it by opening communication (Gould et al., 2005). You can ask: "When you said you wish you were dead, can you tell me more about that?" or "Are you thinking about hurting yourself?" Do not avoid the question.
Refer Immediately to Your School Counselor
Do not handle this alone. Bring the child to your school counselor immediately, stay with them, and communicate what you heard or observed. If no counselor is available, contact your principal. Document the child's exact words and the time you heard them.
Notify the Family
The school counselor will typically lead family notification, but ensure it happens. Parents need to know so they can seek appropriate evaluation and support. A mental health professional evaluation is the appropriate next step, not observation alone.
If Immediate Danger Is Present
If a child is in immediate danger — they have already harmed themselves, have access to means, or are in active crisis — call 911 or 988 (the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline) and do not leave the child alone.
After a Crisis: Supporting the Child at School
After an assessment and any needed intervention, the child will likely return to your classroom. Coordinate with the school counselor about any return-to-school plan, what the child needs, and what you should or shouldn't say. Be warm, consistent, and normal — the child needs to feel that school is still a safe place. Check in briefly and privately each day without making the child feel watched or scrutinized.
Related Resources
Key Crisis Resources
- 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 — available 24/7 for anyone in crisis
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: afsp.org
Research Backing
- Gould, M. S., Marrocco, F. A., Kleinman, M., Thomas, J. G., Mostkoff, K., Cote, J., & Davies, M. (2005). Evaluating iatrogenic risk of youth suicide screening programs. JAMA, 293(13), 1635–1643.
- CDC. (2022). Youth Risk Behavior Survey. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. cdc.gov
Know Your School's Protocol Before You Need It
Find out today who your school's mental health contact is and what the referral process looks like. You should never have to figure this out in a crisis.
Return to Student Welfare HubRecommended Books & Classroom Tools
Teacher-tested books and classroom supplies we recommend for this topic. Explore the full list on our Recommended Resources page.
The Invisible String
Patrice Karst
A gentle read-aloud about connection that comforts children through separation, big worries, and loss.
View on Amazon →The Explosive Child (6th Edition)
Ross W. Greene, PhD
A collaborative, skills-based approach for understanding and supporting easily frustrated, chronically inflexible children.
View on Amazon →Have You Filled a Bucket Today?
Carol McCloud
The bucket-filling metaphor that teaches kindness and empathy — a classroom-community staple for K-3.
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