How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen
Joanna Faber & Julie King
A survival guide of communication tools for ages 2-7 — invaluable for teachers, tutors, and the families you support.
View on Amazon →Families who speak languages other than English at home are not communication challenges — they're community assets. These strategies help you communicate clearly, access the right interpretation resources, and build genuine partnerships with multilingual families.
Under Title VI of the Civil Rights Act and, for students with IEPs, IDEA, families with limited English proficiency have the right to receive meaningful communication from schools in a language they can understand. This means translated documents, interpreter access at meetings, and translated notices for significant school events. Your district has a legal obligation to provide this — if you're unsure about your resources, contact your ELL coordinator or school office.
Never use a student as an interpreter for substantive conversations — particularly those involving the student's own performance, behavior, or welfare. The student's role is to be a child, not a language bridge between their parent and their teacher. Using children as interpreters for sensitive conversations places them in an impossible position and introduces accuracy concerns. Use a district interpreter, a community interpreter, phone interpretation services, or a language-line service for meaningful conversations.
Brief logistics — "There's no school Thursday" — can be communicated through translation apps. But any conversation involving student performance, concerns, conferences, or decisions that affect the child requires a qualified interpreter.
Build a library of key communication templates translated into the primary languages of your students' families. Welcome letters, permission slips, progress updates, and concern notices. Google Translate, DeepL, and Talking Points offer accessible translation. For legally significant documents (IEP notices, suspension letters), use district-approved human translation services — automated translation alone is not sufficient for high-stakes documents.
Language differences don't prevent relationship-building, but they require more intentionality. A smile, a handshake, a brief translated greeting, eye contact, and consistent follow-through communicate care and respect in any language. When families see that you're trying — imperfectly but genuinely — to communicate across the language barrier, most respond with grace and appreciation.
For multilingual families, trust is built through consistency and respect before any specific need arises. Sending a welcome message in the family's home language at the start of the year — even if brief and translated with the help of a school interpreter or app — signals that their language is valued in your classroom. Using family names correctly (ask if you're unsure of pronunciation) and learning a few words of greeting in a family's language communicates respect that goes beyond formal translator access. Families who feel respected and welcomed are more likely to reach out when a concern arises, and more likely to respond constructively when you contact them with a concern about their child.
When using a school interpreter, speak to the family, not to the interpreter. Maintain eye contact with the parent. Speak in short, complete sentences and pause after each one to allow for interpretation. Avoid educational jargon: say "Maria is struggling to sound out new words" rather than "Maria is exhibiting deficits in phonological decoding." Avoid using students as interpreters for significant conversations about their own progress or behavior — children should not be placed in the position of translating difficult information about themselves or managing their parents' emotional responses.
Students from multilingual families often navigate between two linguistic and cultural worlds, which requires significant cognitive and emotional effort. Acknowledging and valuing their home language in the classroom — even if you don't speak it — reduces the sense that home and school are in conflict. Allow students to use their home language during partner discussions when it helps them access content. Pair new English learners with bilingual peers who can provide informal support. Communicate to the whole class that knowing more than one language is a strength — because it is.
When working with an interpreter in a family meeting, speak to the family — not to the interpreter. Maintain eye contact with the parent while the interpreter translates, use short sentences and pauses to allow accurate translation, and avoid jargon or idioms that may not translate clearly. Confirm comprehension by asking the family to reflect back what they heard: "Can you tell me what you understand about what we've discussed?" rather than "Do you understand?" — which typically produces a yes regardless of comprehension. Professional interpreters are preferable to child interpreters; using a child to translate adult conversations about their own academic or behavioral concerns creates an inappropriate burden and often produces incomplete or filtered translation.
Relationship-building with families who don't speak English fluently requires more intentionality but is absolutely possible. Warmth, respect, and genuine interest in a family cross language barriers. Learning a few words in families' home languages — a greeting, a thank you, a phrase of encouragement — communicates care and effort in a way that matters to parents. Translated written communication, visual aids, and photos of student work convey information that doesn't require a conversation. Student work itself is a universal language — a portfolio of a child's drawings, writing attempts, and work samples tells a story that needs little translation. These small, consistent gestures build the trust that makes more complex communication possible when it's needed.
Family engagement looks different across cultures. Some cultures have strong norms around deference to teachers and may not volunteer concerns or questions even when they have them — this isn't disinterest, it's respect. Other cultures prioritize informal, relational contact over formal conferences and may engage more readily in a brief hallway conversation than a scheduled meeting. Some families from communities with negative experiences of schools or government institutions may be cautious about engagement regardless of language. Effective outreach to multilingual families meets them where their engagement is most natural and builds trust through consistent, respectful contact over time — rather than assuming that low attendance at formal school events means low investment in their child's education.
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